EIGHTEEN WAYS TO AVOID POWER STRUGGLES

powerstruggles

Power struggles create distance and hostility instead of closeness and trust. Distance and hostility create resentment, resistance, rebellion (or compliance with lowered self-esteem). Closeness and trust create a safe learning environment. You have a positive influence only in an atmosphere of closeness and trust where there is no fear of blame, shame or pain.

IT TAKES TWO TO CREATE A POWER STRUGGLE.

I have never seen a power drunk child without a power drunk adult real close by. Adults need to remove themselves from the power struggle without winning or giving in. Create a win/win environment. HOW? The following suggestions teach children important life skills including self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation and problem-solving skills — instead of “approval junkie” compliance or rebellion.

  1. Decide what you will do. I will read a story after teeth are brushed. I will cook only in a clean kitchen. I will drive only when seat belts are buckled. (I will pull over to the side of the road when children are fighting.)
  2. Follow Through The key to this one and all of the following is KINDNESS AND FIRMNESS AT THE SAME TIME. (Pull over to the side of the road without saying a word. Children learn more from kind and firm actions than from words.)
  3. Positive Time Out. Create a “nurturing” (not punitive) time out area with your child.
  4. Distraction for Young Children and lots of supervision. Punishment decreases brain development. Children are often punished for doing what they are developmentally programmed to do — explore. (Please read Positive Discipline for Preschoolers.)
  5. Get children involved in the creation of routines (morning, chores, bedtime). Then the routine chart becomes the boss

Read More:

http://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/power.html

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